Tuesday 29 September 2015

Suicide or Lack of Motivation?


According to a report released by Associated Press in 2012, suicide rates in India are highest in the age group of 15-29 that too in well developed regions that have better quality education, social welfare and health care. The study confirms suicide as the second most leading cause of death for young Indians. Surprisingly most of these youngsters who committed suicide were well educated.

After reading the findings of the National Crime Records Bureau and going through the long list of causes for suicidal deaths. I was able to see a common thread that linked all these causes together, thereby creating a single major cause which can simply be understood as the ''lack of motivation''.

It is seen that most of these educated young people end their lives because they are either going through a list of family problems (which accounts for almost 25.6% of suicides) or they are fed up from some Illness (21.1%), or they are the victim of issues like poverty, failure in examination, fall in social reputation, unemployment, physical abuse, impotency, marriage failure, loss of a loved one, career problems, betrayal in a romantic relationship, drug abuse and so on.

Psychological experiments over many years have proved that we are not driven by reason as much as by emotion. Emotion drives our thoughts and influences the way we live and so any emotional setback tends to take a deadly toll on our entire well being. According to a renowned psychiatrist Dr Abhay Gajbhiye,''Those who observe such people must encourage them to talk about their problems, they can try to show the person the larger picture and the insignificance of the problem''.

The reason why most people keep suppressing their deepest hurtful feelings within themselves is that they are aware of the fact that there is hardly anyone out there who is willing to listen to them without interrupting or being judgmental. Even if they listen for the sake of listening, the lack of interest and the fake concern can be clearly seen and so at times it appears best to suppress the emotions and thoughts within oneself until one feels mentally and emotionally suffocated.

It is odd that we desire engaging in social work (mostly reserved as a post retirement task) to contribute in making the society a better place, but miss out on something as basic and as simple as giving such people some space and time, where they can feel at ease, where they can release their distress and pain.

Thought to ponder: Even if you win the rat race you will still end up being a rat and so what really matters is how many lives you touch and the difference that you make to each one of them. You may never know that your next interaction with someone may just bring back to them the spark of hope and the enthusiasm for Life which they were so desperately waiting for.

How can I stop myself from thinking too much?


One of the best books I've read on this topic 'The power of NOW by Eckhart Tolle' in which he has shared one of his life changing experience where out of frustration he told himself, "I had it enough, I just cannot stay with myself any longer". 

This made him realize that there are two 'Eckharts' in him. One is the 'I' and the other is the 'Self' that the former cannot stay with & is highly fed up too.

He thought that perhaps only one of them is real and other is fake.

I learned a lot from this. Firstly, we have two minds in us. Subconscious mind that does all the monkey like chattering of thoughts in the background and the conscious mind that is used in real time for the purpose of doing the tasks at hand.

Here are a few things you can do in order to calm the mental chatter down: 
  1. Focus on your Breathing whenever you feel lost in thoughts, breathing instantly connects you to the present moment
  2. Just grab your cell phone and put a time of 30 seconds. Just focus on the black color that you see when you close your eyes for these 30 seconds. Do this a few times in a day and you will have a better control of your thought flow
  3. Be careful of all those moments when you are complaining, it carries an unconscious negative charge, so make sure you complaint less 
  4. Do not dwell on the grievance too much, either change it, seek help to change it, if nothing works out then simply accept it, BUT do not dwell on it unnecessarily, there is absolutely nothing that you will gain out of it
  5. Listening to the sounds of the environment around you for not more than a minute will snap you back to the present moment and that will in turn drastically reduce the mental chatter 
  6. Listening to Nature Sounds while working helps tremendously. Some studies suggest that nature sounds boost productivity too
  7. Finally a little philosophy to end with, the key to reduce or stop the chattering of unnecessary thoughts is to enjoy what you do and do what you enjoy, when your mind is at peace with the activity that you are doing, it will enjoy the present moment and will seldom think of the past or future. But when you force yourself to do things, boring enough to put you to sleep, then your mind will begin to visit the past and create fantasy based future to generate some interest