How I took control of my emotional attachment?

I have been in this situation multiple times where I meet a woman of my age or slightly elder to me, I hang out with her a couple of times and indulge in some quality conversations that makes me instantly connect with her. What makes me instantly connect is the fact that many of them exhibit those specific qualities that I value the most. After a few weeks, I feel like I need to talk and meet regularly. More than two days If I do not meet that person, something just doesn't feel right. In almost every experience I realized that the person who lost the most, in terms of valuable time and mental and emotional energy and also the one who went through the most emotional pain was myself. The blame for this lies solely on me.

After going through such experiences repeatedly and paying the price too, I decided to do a detailed self analysis on myself and realized a few things that can be summed up as follows -

1. There was in me an intense need to be in a companionship especially with someone who can make me feel accepted and in whose company I can find happiness, this was so subtle that I too was not aware of its power to make me emotionally weak. This feeling was responsible for creating that urge to connect with like-minded individuals and specially women (because I think that the kind of love and support we receive from our best friends or special companions from the opposite gender is quite different than that we experience in the company of people of our own gender). When I think of why I had this strong feeling at the first place the only answer I find is in my upbringing where I was in an environment that made me an introvert for quite a long time in my life. Being lonely for most of the time was like a norm for me. Not interacting with people and being quite homely despite of being a boy which is quite a rare scenario, just complicated the whole problem even more.
2. In a very weird way I use to feel that this person with whom I am attached may not be there with me tomorrow. This scary feeling just intensified my attachment
3. The most simplest problem with me was that my mind went back and forth between two extremes: first one was where my emotions dominated my reason & the second was when my reason dominated my emotions, it is today I realize that the solution lies when reason and emotions are perfectly balanced
4. The moment I meet someone and that person happens to be like the one who gives me the space that I longed for, I get attached with her quickly, this is mainly because I have a fear that once I lose this person I will never again get someone like this in the future. This is quite a deep thought, if you reflect on it.

Now let me jot down a few things I did that improved my life.

Can you judge someone's personality on the way they TALK?

Communication is the best and the most quickest tool to know a person within a short period of time.

I use the following as my parameters:

1. I pay close attention to what topics they randomly choose to talk about. If they talk more about things that are less significant like the a drama on primetime TV or that break up of a friend in the next class, then it is the first indicator of his lack of maturity. I would rather prefer someone with whom I can have value conversations at least 60% of the time if not all the time.

2. The language used should be clean, if way too many Fs are used (like once in every 20 seconds) then it is again a signal for me to start looking at the nearest exit and to avoid running into him or her again.

3. If I am talking about something important about myself or my life, then I would expect them to listen to me uninterruptedly. Interrupting in between to talk something that is unimportant at that moment gives me a big reason to shut such people off my life. Basic empathy is an essential ingredient in any relationship.

4. Talking too loudly (specially in a public place), is another indicator of that person being unconcerned about social mannerisms which is a reason enough for me to judge him/her about the personality he/she has built so far.

5. Talking while using mobile phone way too much is a big NO. This makes the person appear more interested in talking to someone across the network via Whatsapp or any other social media/messenger app than the one sitting right in front of them.

Although the list is long. But for now these are the essentials of how one can be judged or known at a basic level, by carefully observing the way they talk.