Are there any innovative ways to control Anger?

Anger is the most unwise emotion to have and here are the reasons why:

1. Anger makes you go out of control and the actions that spring forth from anger are actions that you are most likely to regret later
2. Anger in you leads to the creation of anger in someone else (if not sooner then surely later, until that person is on the verge of becoming enlightened on top of the Himalayas) but if he is like an ordinary chap like you and me then being too angry on him will lead to an equal reaction from him that can in turn make the situation chaotic
3. On a neurological level, anger makes your amygdala (the fight or flight response system of your brain) dominate your cortex (the reasoning and logical part of your brain) this complete shuts down the scope of thinking and acting out of wisdom, which could have created an alternative outcome, perhaps a favourable one
4. If you are getting angry on people who matter to you, then anger becomes a silent killer of relationships and trust and sometimes this can become irreversible leading to an end of that relationship forever

What can one do to get anger under control?

1. Practicing the art of “quickly listing down alternatives”. Before acting out of the impulse to go nasty and regret later. Just ask yourself once if there is an alternate method to deal with this situation. The more you practice this the more better you will get at it.
2. Breathing. The next time you get angry, try to breathe calmly and slowly. Science proves that breathing is directly related to anger. If you breathe faster, your blood pressure increases which results in anger. On the other hand, if you breathe slowly and calmly, the body temperature becomes neutral and you are able to control yourself in that situation.
3. Getting away from that place for some time. Yogic sciences and many other philosophies around the world talk about the energy exchange that is constantly happening at all times with all of us. The more you hang out with positive people the better will be your mood throughout the day and vice-versa. One of the best things to get rid of anger attack, is to leave the room for some time so that you can break away from the negative energy that is being hurled at you. Once you feel neutral you can jump in the scene again (if necessary)
4. Lying down for a few minutes. According to an article published in Telegraph in the year 2009, when you are lying down (on your back as if you are about to doze off) your ability to calm down anger increases
5. Let the law take its own course. If you are in a situation where you are dealing with a troublesome jerk and have made it a point to teach him a lesson, instead of getting angry just use the law against him. In an office environment this can mean, creating a buzz and informing the HR as well as your immediate Manager about the culprit. Outside the office, we have the judiciary system with its various penal codes

What did I learn about managing Human Emotions by working in a call centre?

If I was to point out at the most enjoyable as well as the most important period of my life so far from the point of view of learning life skills, it would without a doubt be the time between 2011 and 2014, the time I worked in a call centre. At that time and even today, I meet people who criticize the job profile of a call centre agent. But have we ever wondered the challenges faced by an employee pressurized by targets and minimal support, who is constantly on calls for about 8 to 9 hours a day. Sometimes, he or she needs to wait to even use the washroom as the breaks are scheduled so as to take care of the call flow (so that no calls are missed). Facing customer rants and abuses is one part of it but the real challenge is when in back to back calls you force yourself to smile and greet the customers even if the earlier caller hurled abuses on you for some insignificant reason which wasn’t your fault at all.

Challenges are many but today when I think of the top 3 things I learnt while working in a call centre the list goes something like this:

1. Ability to NOT take customer rants too personally. Initially it was challenge for me to deal with customer abuses and complaints, it did affect me on a very personal level, when my Quality trainer met me and noticed what I am going through, she put across to me a chunk of wisdom that was not just applicable in the call centre but on almost every aspect of life When someone is hurling abuses at you or complaints endlessly, understand that his anger is for the company or product or service and not on you personally. If this thought sinks in your subconscious, you will never ever feel sad even for the slightest bit ever again. Isn’t this applicable on life too? 
2. Stronger emotional control that allows you to smile and greet the next customer even if you were abused by the earlier customer. The more you face brutal customers, who sound like demons sent from hell, the more emotionally immune you become of getting offended. To top it up, you are supposed to greet every customer with a smile. Although, they don’t see you but a smile on the face does makes the customer feel that he/she is talking to a human and not a robot. Imagine how incredible life will become when you do not allow people to affect your inner calm 
3. You learn that the “World is not a very bad place after all”. Not all customers are irritated with you. Some of them are quick to appreciate and even write an appreciation email to the customer relations department with your name so as to help you get some brownie points in the eyes of the senior management. I have myself got many of these brownie points but they do not feel as special as the spoken words that we receive over the phone. Being too quick to adopt a notion that all customers are the same, is definitely the most unwise thing to do!! 

Why does Desire bring Suffering? Explained in the form of a Flow Chart

A couple of years ago I read the story of a young prince Siddhartha who evolved into an awakened one or the Buddha. The story of Buddha is one where one can find inspiration and hope to find the answers of most questions that people struggle with. One of them is about the nature of suffering. What is suffering? How can one free himself from suffering? These are questions of prime importance as the answers they point at, can provide us the solution to almost every problem that we go through in our everyday lives.

One of Buddha’s most popular teaching comes in the form of a discovery, revealing us the nature of desire. Buddha taught that the root cause of suffering is desire.

I once had problem in understanding this. After all, nurturing desires is a part of our human nature. How can one go against his own nature? Is it even possible?

I am not sure how to do it, but last night I scribbled something on my notepad.

It all starts with desire which if fulfilled, leads to happiness but it is short lived and so in order to sustain that happiness more desires are supposed to be born, which completes the circle. However, if the desire if unfulfilled the whole equation takes a different turn, it leads to an undesirable state called suffering, exactly how the Buddha professed.

How can one use mindfulness to enhance the quality of your everyday life?

When your mind is at peace with the activity that you are doing in the present moment, the quality of that experience gets a booster dose. This is because, your mind focuses completely in the NOW moment and you feel at ease with the subject you are learning. I understood this concept when I compared the mind with a smartphone. The more apps you run the more it will be slow and laggy, leading to a frustrating user experience. However, when you use only one app at a time, you will see the mobile working on its top speed. It won't heat up. The battery will not drain fast. The RAM will be at its optimum and most importantly you will enjoy your experience of using that app, no matter how complicated the operation of that app may be.

A few tips that may help you:

1. Sit with your spine erect, according to Yogic science this helps in calming your mind down from the chaotic traffic of thoughts
2. Focus on your breathing whenever you feel like you are being lost in past or future, let your breathing be your anchor to mindfulness
3. Stop whatever it is that you are doing and just make an effort of listening to the sounds in your environment, like the sound of light traffic outside, people walking, air conditioner or even the tick tock of the analog wall clock in the room
4. If the whole thing is getting too complicated and your thoughts seem to be on an endless trail. Just plug in headphones and play nature sounds and close your eyes for not more than 60 seconds. I call it the one minute meditation. It does work if you allow your mind to calm down for just 60 seconds (even if you can manage making your mind cease the traffic of thoughts for 10 seconds, it is more than enough)

Should you give up your self respect to save your love and relationship?

If the relationship demands that you give up on your self-respect indicates that it based on the foundation of fear and lack and not love and abundance.

Love is a source of strength, not weakness. Your self-respect is the most important aspect of your life, it is like a human currency fetching real wealth that manifests as confidence in oneself; a feeling that one is behaving with honour and dignity.

True love or relationship will never put you in a condition where your partner demands you to compromise on your self-respect. Know that it is your self-respect that really makes you a human. With no self-respect there wouldn't really be much difference between you and an inanimate object (apart from the fact that you can talk and move on your own).

Love strengthens and inspires you to be better and to live life with cheer of heart and peace of mind.

What are the things that heartbreak has taught you?

Although, heartbreaks are undesirable but like failures they too are equally important for they make you stronger and wiser.

1. It is important to make yourself a 'top priority' 
2. Being emotionally attached with someone is not a mistake but allowing your emotions to flow freely without balancing them with rationality should be avoided 
3. Whenever people meet you they always show you the side that they want you to see. We all have our natural defenses always in place and we use them to safeguard our true self within that we perhaps do not wish others to know about. This is the reason why it becomes a challenge to know someone inside out. However, if you can make someone feel super comfortable and pay attention to their gestures and subtle body language signals and make them feel at ease, then they may lower their defenses and allow you to take a glimpse of their true inner nature 
4. Never choose someone just because you feel happy in his/her presence but rather choose them because the values you believe in, blend peacefully with the values they believe in. If I believe in modernity and my partner believes in orthodoxy, no matter how much we try and understand each other, there will always be a large gap between both of us on an intellectual level and later this will lead to an emotional distancing too

The Search

I searched for Guidance,

I searched for Knowledge,

I searched for Happiness,

And I searched for Peace,

I searched for it in the place I stay,

I searched for It, Night and Day,

I searched for it almost everywhere ,

But to all my lot came an everlasting despair,

I searched for the Divine Master,

I searched for his blessings and Mercy,

I searched for the truth that will liberate me,

From the prison that was a creation of none but me.

The days slipped into months and months into years,

But neither did I find answers but,

Raised were my questions,

After a journey,

That was Left fruit-less.

And when my cries saw no limits,

And when my tears lost themselves in the color of blood,

In the deepest of Silence,

I heard a voice,

Saying to me,

Blessed am I in abundance from thee,

My search ends here it said,

As you have come face to face with truth,

What you were seeking outside, O saddened Seeker,

Is present nowhere but within you.

God resides in You

Knowledge and guidance lies deep Inside you,

Peace and happiness surrounds you,

But you know not.

Gods Blessings and Mercy,

Is the very light of your soul?

And you are the manifestation of Freedom and Liberty,

Strangely, Asking for Liberation.

But Alas, O Seeker, you know not.

You Call upon me thinking you are bereft from

All the good that exists,

But how insane you are that,

You know not anything about your own true self.

Your Search ends here,

As you are the seeker So True

Look within yourself with Faith

And you will see me in You.

Letting Go made easy!!!

Just follow the following steps (do this when your mood is positive or at the least neutral ) : -

1. Close your eyes 
2. Welcome your uncomfortable feelings 
3. Feel them completely without any resistance 
4. Know that these feelings are not a part of you and hence you have the option of freeing yourself from them as they are not YOU 
5. NOW say to yourself "I welcome these feelings" 
6. Wait for a few seconds and then say "I know that these feelings are not me" 
7. Now say "I accept that its time to let go of them" 
8. Now finally say "I release and free myself from this burden here and NOW" 

Once you have finished doing step 8 you can slowly open your eyes and take a deep breath and smile.

P.S. After watching The Sedona Method Movie by Hale Dwoskin I applied a few of his techniques and came up with the above "8 Step Process" that if practiced regularly can FREE you from the past burden that you are living with.

How do you differentiate between 'true compliment' and 'flattery'?

There is no doubt that we live in times where strategies of war are being used not only in big corporations but also in personal and social lives and so 'The art of passing false compliment for serving one's self-interest' or flattery has evolved into a tool that people deliberately use for getting what they want.
These are a few signals that can help you differentiate flattery from genuine compliment.

1. Pay attention to their style of talking. Whenever someone is using flattery with a certain degree of subtlety, he/she is likely to appear and sound artificial. Although detecting if someone is lying or is telling the truth is not a easy business, however, if you have done a good deal of interaction with them then you can easily make notice in their facial expression and voice tonality when they speak the truth vs when they indulge in talking things that are completely or partially false
2. Although in the initial stages it becomes slightly difficult to detect if someone is using flattery as a means to get his/her job done through you, however, if you know this person for quite some time then you can carefully observe and notice if in the past they used the same strategy of talking goody good things about you on your face or in public and then asking for some heavy favors from you later. If you have had such an experience multiple times, then you can assume that the great things he/she talks about you is not a compliment but flattery
3. At times it may also happen that people who are jealous of you may upfrontly and excessively appreciate you, so that you can climb up the hill of ego and pride and once they notice you on the top of the that hill, they will then execute their next move to push you down (This may sound like some sort of dirty politics, but I have seen many people who do indulge in such strategies and aim at defeating fellow employees who are in the race to the next promotion)
4. Finally, whenever you receive a compliment hold on and think if it is true and that if this person who is complimenting you knows you on a personal front. If you find that the compliment sounds too heavy (& untrue) then you better stay grounded and be on a alert regarding that individual

When does love hurt?

According to Psychcentral, the chances of infidelity over the course
of your entire relationship is 25 percent

I think it is expectation that hurts more than anything else. We expect a certain 'kind' of love from someone and when that person fails to make us feel loved the way we want to, the result is that we feel hurt.
For me, love consists of three components and if any one of these is missing, I will feel unloved.

1. Understanding
2. Care
3. Support

Keeping this view in mind, let me make an attempt of redefining love.

I have witnessed that people are more focused on things like buying gifts and being on Whatsapp for hours and meeting regularly over a coffee. Although, these actions do form a part of expression of love but these actions are like rituals that may keep a relationship alive. However, they are not the determinants of whether the love between you and the other person is true or not. These are simply ways of understanding each other on an emotional level.

The question is- Is understanding and care going hand in hand?

If understanding is accompanied with a lack of care then it simply means that your 'interest' in your partner is dying down (for whatever reasons) and if care is good but understanding is missing then sooner or later your partner will feel like he or she is with a mechanical caretaker and not a life partner.

To conclude, I think that love is a blend of understanding and care and if any one out of these two is missing then a total collapse of what you perceive as 'Love' awaits, which in turn makes one feel that 'love' hurts.

In addition to this, being in one-sided love is equally painful.

What is the importance of human relationships? Why do we need people? After all, we are born alone and we die alone?

Relationship is the way in which two or more people or
things are connected, or the state of being connected.

One of major foundations of the system that governs us has been the fact that we are highly dependent on others for our survival. The first instance in our lives where we can clearly notice this dependency is the time of our birth, we are born inside a womb and are depended completely on our mothers every bit of nutrition that we receive at that early stage when our body is being constructed. Although in a way, we are highly independent when we die but then there still remains a good deal of dependency for the final rites of our dead bodies.
So, what really am I trying to say here?I think the only aspect that beautifies this system of dependency that governs us is 'relationships'. When we as human species create connections with our fellow humans we invite endless possibilities in our life experiences. 

Can someone live with no relationships with his or her fellow human beings? 

Yes, of course. But then what kind of a Life will that be? Specially if we take into consideration that we as humans have been made with an inner predilection towards others who share this planet with us, the matter becomes clear from confusion.
Personally, I think of a Life with no relationships, as incomplete and here are some reasons why relationships are important -

1. We learn and evolve not just using textbooks and applying our knowledge in our work or by merely responding to our inner calling. True learning and evolution includes the art of dealing with a variety of people 
2. People play a crucial role in our lives, sometimes they put a smile on our faces when we have forgotten about it. Sometimes, they make us feel depressed too. In either case, we become strong and that is what matters at the end
3. To be human is to love others for who they are. Without relationships we are bound to feel empty (Of course, it is a different matter altogether that some people in order to support their belief about being isolated, would never show how empty they feel within)
4. Finally, we need to accept that emotions dominate over logic and that makes the whole difference in the way we deal with people. Emotional needs are critical and they need to be given priority. If I were to make a list of 'things' that are a source of emotional satisfaction, with no doubt, human relationships would be among the top three if not on the top itself

Can we really get rid of Suffering?

Pain is when events or people turn against you (deliberately or unintentionally) and that in turn hurts you emotionally/mentally or even physically. Pain, when remains uncured or keeps on returning after short breaks of temporary relief, one can say that one is going through 'suffering’. 

Suffering is ‘pain’ from all aspects of life, grouped together. 

Buddha once said that all life is suffering. Was he hinting at the very nature of life and all that it governs.
Are we born to suffer?
If not then what was he trying to say?

Since a long time, I have noticed that great thoughts and insights often come to me while I am deeply engrossed in some activity (this happens with you too, if you ever noticed). This happened with me a few days back while I was running on the treadmill, the trail of thoughts began with a question –

Can we get rid of suffering permanently?

The answer is both Yes and No. 'Yes', because suffering is a perception of mind and we can turn it off through an approach that I will be discussing soon and 'No', because undesirable experiences cannot be stopped no matter what you do or how influential you are. You may conclude that you are happy because you have a great career, a big house, a nice car and a wonderful family but you cannot really guarantee that you are free from pain. Mr. Pain is stubborn enough to find a way to enter into your experiences. It can come in the form of bad health, a break-up or divorce, a loss of job or bankruptcy of your business. If I were to graphically present life, I would draw it this way.

Life should be clearly understood as a matter made of a unit called ‘time’ which is never still but keeps on fluctuating through desirable times or happiness and undesirable times or suffering.

Here is a quote that forms the very essence of all my thoughts that have so far occurred to me about this subject.

If you cannot get rid of suffering – make suffering ‘IRRELEVANT’

How to make Suffering IRRELEVANT? - Coming Soon

How can I remove my hesitation for speech in front of public?

Glossophobia or speech anxiety is the fear of public speaking or of speaking in general.
The word glossophobia comes from the Greek 'glōssa', meaning
tongue, and phobos, fear or dread.

By practicing speaking in front of an audience small in number made up of people who are known to you.Consistent practice is the key. I would recommend you to be a part of the Toastmasters club (google them to know more) and be a part of your nearest toastmasters club.
Apart from the conventional methods like improving your vocabulary and practicing with audience as well as in front of the mirror, I suggest you to start regularly visualizing yourself in front of a crowd giving a speech at the peak of your confidence. Make that picture as vivid and as clear as possible. Also visualize a positive audience reaction to you. Doing such a creative visualization will help your brain to rewire itself and that will be of immense help in getting you out of public speaking fear.

Finally, know that no one is perfect and even if you make mistakes people will forget them by late evening. But think of it on the lines of how regretful you will eventually become (may be in a few months or years) if you do not 'Talk' your thoughts out loud to people, today. What if your speech contains the message that most of them need to hear?

THINK!!!

Are you labelled as the QUIET GUY? How to deal with it?

As an introvert turned extrovert, I remember following a process that helped me get out of "the quiet guys club". I have tried simplifying it here:

1. I read a lot and I love to read. It can be a book, an internet article, a newspaper or magazine column or simply those dozens of newsletters from various websites that fill up my gmail inbox everyday
2. Although, I read because I love to. But it also helps me in polishing my communication, adding more words to my vocabulary and adds a good deal of information about a variety of subjects in my awareness. The next step is where the rubber touches the road and wheels start revolving
3. When I meet people (irrespective of who/how they are) I do not really make any special effort to start a dialogue with them, rather, I listen to them for a while and then just make a casual comment on the subject being talked about. However, I make sure that what I say is impressive enough for them to know that they are in conversation with a 'no-nonsense' person. Once the conversation gets started I keep on observing them and the topics they choose to talk about. Once it gets clear to me about what interests them the most, I then mentally prepare myself by bringing all the relevant information regarding those subjects in front of me and put it across to them in the most interesting manner possible
4. Although what I am talking about is not the only way but one among many ways to take the exit route from the "quiet guys club". I feel that making people interested in you is of vital importance and this happens only when you firstly show interest in them
5. Understand, being called 'a quiet guy' is a fine thing, if you are around people who do not matter to you much, whereas those who do matter, I believe they love you for what you are and so all these things that I jotted down doesn't matter

Three DON'TS that will free you from a lot of negative energy

1. Spending way too much of time on things that are unproductive. eg, watching TV for long hours. It is cool when you watch it for an hour or an hour and a half but when you watch TV and that too some of the most ridiculous TV soaps for more than 3 hours, it transforms into becoming quite 'uncool'
2. Having a 'too much' social media presence. As long as you keep it sane, all cool. The moment you passionately start posting every lunch and dinner and every new book that you are reading, your profile and your persona begins appearing uncool
3. Giving too much importance to insignificant gossips while indulging in them too. Again, a little gossip is cool, in fact 'talking' is one of those primary things that makes us humans and distinguishes us from other animals. But when we are focused on someone else's business and gossip excessively about the same, it ends up becoming a habit, a self-destructive habit that adds no value to life 

One-Sided Love? Have you ever loved someone who did not love you back?

When we are loving towards someone and are looking forward to take the relationship forward but do not receive the equivalent signals from him/her is for me a perfect description of a 'one-sided love'. It is all a play of emotions and that is what adds complexity to the matter as 'strong emotions' drive men and women insane. I think when logic and emotions are battling each other, it is the emotions that mostly triumph over logic and reasoning. This is precisely why when we fall for someone and continue yearning them even after becoming aware that they aren't interested in us. Reason says - "Move on" & Emotions says - "Persevere till you make her/him love you".

I have fallen into the one-sided love stories more than once and here is a list of things that will help you understand and handle a situation like that in a way that will lead to freedom (from pain) & happiness.

1. Like I said before, it is all a play of emotions within you that make you yearn for that person and if these emotions are kept unchecked then they will drive you insane. Period. The solution is to catch yourself the moment you feel like you are getting romantically inclined towards someone and balance those emotions with strong reasoning. Ask yourself sensible questions that will help you get the right perspective.
2. Try befriending new people.If possible, try connecting with like minded people specially from the opposite gender. I do not have any sound backing for the reason why I mentioned 'opposite gender' but I have noticed that whenever I added new female friends (I mean pure friendship and nothing else) to my social life it helped me get my emotional inclination towards that "one girl" under control. But, I have always kept my values under check, as I did not make friends just to get over my one-sided love relationships. In fact I am proud to say that many friends in past few years that I made while going through that phase, are still there with me and have we all have now become best buddies
3. The final key is to make yourself understand that any relationship needs a minimum of two pillars to balance itself and not one. You can surely try getting closer to them and understand them, support them and love them for all that they are but in no way can you make them fall in love with you. However, if your love is so true that you can even take bullets for them, then they need to be matured enough to see the truthfulness of your love and take the next step towards you with no doubts in mind.

What can I do for 10 minutes every day that will change my life?

The Kaizen approach

There are a couple of simple yet powerful list of things that will lead to a life changing experience.

1. At the very start of your day just sit and plan your To-Do-List. Plan every task, no matter how small or big. It will be even better if you make the task list and assign the duration of time that will be required.
2. Watch a TED Talk using the TED app where you can set the 10 minute duration and the app will filter all the TED talks that are approx 10 minutes long
3. You can also invest 10 minutes in being mindful about what you eat. You can do this by recording it in the app called 'My Fitness Pal', where you can view the total number of calories you've consumed throughout the day. If you feel like you are undereating or overeating you can correct your eating habits by using this app.
4. If you are a victim of heavy work stress then I would recommend you to listen to nature sounds for 10 minutes everyday. You can find them on YouTube or simply download them from any free mp3 website. Close your eyes and listen to Nature sounds and allow your mind a break from everything that you are busy thinking and analyzing about. 
5. Read, reflect and summarize a page of 'Who will cry when you die' by Robin Sharma everyday, once you are done with this book, go for '7 Spiritual Laws of of Success' by Deepak Chopra 
6. Last but not the least invest 10 minutes everyday in preparing and drinking a smoothie that will give a good-health booster. You can Google about them or read this article for more information. 6 Ingredients for Super-Healthy Smoothies

How do I overcome jealousy? What really causes jealousy?

When you compare yourself against other
you are vulnerable to become jealous

The way I started battling jealousy within myself is by understanding where it stems from. Jealousy comes when you compare yourself with others. The antidote to this, is to understand that just because an apple is more popular than an orange, thanks to Apple Inc, does not in any way make an orange less important or insignificant. Both are essentially fruits and it is intellectually insane to compare them against each other. 

All we need to do is to understand that our life's journey is totally different than that of others and when we accept the truth that just like others have their own set of strengths and talents, we too have within us, some really awesome and unique bunch of talents and strengths. 

Understand, the person who is blessed more than you is not better than you, the problem with jealousy is that it ends up making him/her superior and makes ys feel inferior, even though we may not usually think about ourselves that way. The end of jealousy is to love yourself and to be focused on your own progress than looking at others with awe and then wonder 'WHY not we and WHY them, always', after all an apple may have a more sexier appeal among fruits but it is no where a match, when it comes to the Vitamin C content which is where orange nails it (if you know what I mean).

What '5 don'ts' have I learnt from people's failures?

Best lessons are learnt when life knocks you down
as opposed to when you are at the top of everything

1. Whenever you follow people's advice or suggestions on the cost of your own inner drives, you are making a mistake that will lead to tougher times of self-doubt. Worse case scenario is when you ignore your stronger vibes coming from within about a particular matter just because you are conditioned to listen or pay heed to what your elders, friends, or your colleagues think about what you should do. Lesson to be learnt - Follow your inner wisdom and make sure that your decisions are in alignment with your values and beliefs and not someone else's values or beliefs. Even if you take a wrong decision, you will not blame others instead you will evolve through it and become better than before.
2. See things as they are but not worse than what they are. In times of crisis we tend to make this mistake. We become overloaded with stress or emotional breakdowns and the byproduct of this is that we magnify our problems to such an extent that it ends up becoming a real issue (even though in essence it is not) and eventually we lose control of the situation thus allowing that matter to become the centre of our life around which everything starts revolving
3. Most people end up becoming shortsighted in terms of plans, actions and vision. In many people's case I have clearly seen that enjoying short-term-gratification and sacrificing long-term-value-addition leads to an unsatisfactory life. 
4. One of the most common ways that most people despite of earning millions, traveling the world or becoming CEOs of major corporations end up becoming frustrated as oppose to happy and cheerful, is when one becomes too superficial and loses complete touch with the spiritual side of life. Spirituality is a necessary ingredient for a balanced life. 
5. Lastly, not knowing oneself or failing to understand one's strengths or weaknesses and just going with the flow (like a dead fish) is a path that will guarantee failure. I remember reading a quote from Sun Tzu that resonates with this thought, it goes something like this - “If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle.” Although, this quote is more applicable under the context of a War strategy which is precisely what Sun Tzu was into. But I think it is equally applicable in the war that we common people fight everyday.

What are some of the ways to be Emotionally stronger?

Emotional strength comes from knowing your own self

There are some ground rules that I have established for myself and I am happy to say that they have worked for me.

1. Having as less of interaction as possible with pessimists or narcissists as the company you keep most often tends to affect your mental and emotional state 
2. Spending more time with happy and peaceful souls as the company you chose to spend most of your time with is often time powerful enough to inspire or demotivate you 
3. Getting rid of the habit of arguing with people specially when the outcome is likely to be insignificant, as this is great energy waster and no good will spring forth from your investment of effort and time in arguing with them and trying to knock some sense into their heads
4. Meditating at least thrice a week for 15 minutes
5. Watch at least one feel-good movie every week (if you can watch it with your positive fellas as mentioned in point no. 2 above, cool. If not then better watch it alone)
6. Emotional strength comes from understanding your own self and specially knowing what triggers negative and positive emotions in you. Once you detect the external stimuli (a person, an event, a typical kind of behavior or a thing or absolutely anything) you can then move on and do a quick root cause analysis and understand what causes such a emotional reaction within yourself. In most cases you will find that some experience in your past or fear of a possible future ends up as the real culprit. Now all you need to work on is to LET GO of it. I would suggest you to try the Sedona Method (Google it to find more) to dissolve those mental and emotional blocks forever
7. Finally, keep yourself occupied with things that bring to you a greater amount of joy and peace in life. Once you are busy living the best version of 'yourself', you will have no time to entertain any kind of negativity in life.

Wishing you peace and happiness!!!

Have you ever thought of things that give you real happiness?

Happiness is your natural state of mind, it
is the complexities you get yourself into that
makes happiness a distant goal

It is a challenge for me to put a definition of what 'real happiness' really is. There have been moments when my mind was at its peak in terms of the way it feels and the energy it radiates. These are moments when people & circumstances end up becoming powerless in terms of affecting my mood. It feels light and fresh, as if I am on some kind of a drug that has doubled the levels of serotonin (a happiness hormone). The problem is that these moments are short lived. Here is a short list of things that allow me the experience of these "peak moments":

1. When I get up early in the morning and witness the sunrise while sipping the coffee and reading a novel. The reason why such an experience makes me feel good, is because I am a night-owl and I am habituated to an unhealthy sleeping pattern of sleeping late and waking up later
2. When I hang out with friends who truly understand me and inspire me
3. When I perform my prayers in isolation and get into a conversation with God, I end up feeling at peace with myself and full of mental and emotional serenity
4. When I succeed in bringing my Mind to a state of thoughtlessness during meditation
5. When I work-out in the gym and see myself getting leaner in the post workout selfie (Lol)
6. When I strike out all tasks in my to-do-list before dusk
7. When I meet like minded people and instantly strike a chord with them
8. When I receive compliments not really on something that I have done or achieved but rather on the way I have made someone feel. This is quite a superior feeling when someone happens to talk to me about the difference my action or even my words have made to them when they were at their lowest
9. When I make peace with a painful episode from my past that was bothering me for a long time just because I wasn't able to let go of it
10. When I successfully implement a change within myself like giving up a bad habit forever or cultivating a new set of skills or habits that lead to a better quality life

Although the list can go on but for now these things really do give me the glimpse of true happiness and the more I bring them into my everyday experience the more I learn about myself. I come to know on a deeper level about what and how I really am and about the things that have a potential of making me feel good & not-so-good

How can I better use & apply knowledge?

Not applying what you learn, is the best way to
convert your time and effort you invested
in learning into waste 

Learning a lot and applying nothing, is as good as learning nothing. What works for me is a process that I have been following since a long time. A process that involves breaking down all my life's lessons into small parts and grouping them under relevant categories to which they belong, once all that is done, I associate them with a skill or quality or a personality trait, which allows me to move into the 'Action' part. Let me also add that these life's lessons can be taken from personal experiences, observation from surroundings, a small but inspiring talk with friend, a seminar or a book or even a movie.

Here is the process:

1. Make an immediate note of the thing that you have learnt. Do not do this for all small bits that you learn everyday but only when the learning is worth noting down. You can make a note of that on Google Keep, a clutter-free note taking app. I use it most of the times
2. The note should NOT exceed a line or two. Try following the twitter approach of keeping the note restricted to 10 characters
3. Pick a fixed date of a month and that day you can read all your notes and convert every lesson into a personality trait
4. Once you make the list of these personality traits or qualities or skills that you need to work on, you next step is to do a self-check to understand how many of those skills or qualities you have but need an improvement on, or you do not have them and need to cultivate them in yourself 
5. Once you know exactly what areas you need to work on, GET STARTED immediately. 

To make things more clear let me cite a quick example:

1. If in the month of July, when I sat down for simplifying my 'lessons learnt' and came up with a list of three skills, like Communication to myself and to others
2. Now I proceed with a self-check and felt that I need improvement in the communication that I do with myself (may be I talk with a negative tone inside my mind about myself and this leads to a lowered self-esteem) 
3. My next step to really apply that knowledge will be to catch myself the next time I indulge in talking negative inside my head, I can of course further do a quick R and D about how to get more in control of this self-talking habits and how can I improve it in order to achieve greater level of happiness and motivation in life

How to stay positive during tough times?

Probably some of the best things that have ever happened to
you in life, happened because you said yes to something

Although, failures and difficulties are not desired by anyone, on the contrary they are most disliked, but it would be wise to say that one learns the most during low times as compared to times of success, happiness and prosperity. The dark phases of my life are mainly responsible for strengthening me up and preparing for higher responsibilities. These times are fantastic teachers. But one needs to stay calm & composed & do not lose focus of his greater goals in life while experiencing nerve wracking turbulence on this rollercoaster. Here is a a list of things that have helped me in standing tall during difficult times.

1. Avoiding the company of the 'pessimist types' as much as possible: The kind of people you interact with determines the quality of your life, when you are facing tough times, you will tend to feel low and if you meet pessimists during such times, the pain you are experiences just gets further compounded. I have experienced that pessimistic people have a habit of looking at sad faces and showing temporary concern just to know what is wrong with you and once you share your problems with them they will invest their time and energy in making you feel from bad to worse. Better avoid such a company.
2. Being in the company of positive or at least neutral minded people: Taking forward the point discussed above, the best way to stay motivated during difficult times is to spend at least an hour or two (may be over a coffee or just over the phone or a chat over facebook/Whatsapp) with people who understand you and who are wise enough to listen to you without interrupting or judging and can give you the much needed space you deserve in order to de-stress yourself 
3. Awakening your Spiritual side: Spirituality works for me like magic. I do not intend to exaggerate this but I have always found my peace when I connect with God. I meditate, worship, chant his praises and spend time in having a dialogue with Him. Although this may or may not necessarily make my problems disappear, but it does charge me up with peace and hope within and that in turn toughens me up to triumph through tough times
4. Getting some 'feel good' kind of entertainment that should be strong enough to charge you up: Reading inspiring books, if reading is not your cup of tea, listening to songs or watching that are motivational (My fav one being 'Yes Man'). Entertainment works when people don't.
5. If you are in situation where you do not have positive people in your life, it is better to take a break and remain alone for some time: When I use to meet people who were experts in turning 'bad' to 'worse' and 'worse' to 'much worse' and sometimes turning even 'much worse' to outright 'pathetic', I realized how important it was to spend some time with myself. 
6. Exercise, preferably something that involves group activities like Zumba: According to a study done by Mayo Clinic, regular exercise can increase self-confidence, it can relax you, and it can lower the symptoms associated with mild depression and anxiety.

When Life is running away from me - A Poetry

I think poetry is a smart way of putting
loads of thoughts in a few lines

When life is running away from me,

I pause and wonder if I've done anything, 

That would make God proud  

When I realize that the answer is NO,

I wake up & reinvent myself, 

Being Sorrowful, becomes a luxury

When life begins to run faster, 

I pause and wonder,
If I've ever bought a smile 

To a despaired heart.

When I realize that the answer is NO,

I wake up and set my priorities right,

Being too egoistic, becomes a burden

When life is running away from me, 

I pause and reflect if I've done anything,

That will bring smiles & cheers to people, 

Even after I am gone

When I realize that the answer is NO,

I arise from my comforts and become,

The best version of myself,

Complaining about how unfair life is, becomes insanity

Does meditation help for depression?

According to WHO, depression is a common mental disorder,
globally, more than 350 million people of all ages suffer from depression

Meditating in its technical definition is described as an activity that involves in focusing one's mind for a period of time, in silence or with the aid of chanting, for religious or spiritual purposes or as a method of relaxation
In depression one tends to think mostly self-destructive thoughts that further complicate the whole problem. Meditation on the other side, helps in relaxing your mind from the incessant activity of thinking. It gives your mind a much needed break. When you meditate regularly, one tends to feel as if you have gained some degree of control over your thoughts and emotions and at the same time you start feeling like you are living more in the present moment and less in the future or past (which is precisely what one tends to do in depression).
I remember enrolling for the Art of Living Part 1 course back then in 2009 and as meditation was practiced regularly it did bring me a very strong sense of clarity in terms of summoning up my strengths together so that I can take steps to resolve all my issues within myself one after another. However, I did not stop at meditation alone. I started watching motivational movies and documentaries, 'The Secret by Rhonda Byrne' being one of them. Started reading some inspirational books and started making myself open to new and positive people in order to create some healthy connections that can help me get out of this rut (I strongly believe that the people you hangout with affects the quality of your life).
As a conclusion I strongly think that that if you are depressed for a very long time and if you do not have anyone in your life who can give you the space where you can free your emotional burden, then meditation and spirituality are the two most powerful tools that can turn the tables around, provided that you keep walking on that path until you feel completely refreshed on an emotional and mental level. I say all of this as someone who suffered from a combination of social phobia and depression for more than 4 years of my teenage life.

Is your Life trying to tell you something? Are you ignoring it, unknowingly?

If you wonder why Life keeps on giving you the same headaches again and again
to handle, it is time to look again with a different viewpoint

Since a long time I have been going through such disheartening experiences and there came a time when I got fed up. That turned out to be my eureka moment. They say, when you are at your lowest, true wisdom from within springs forth and that makes things fall into perfect perspectives. This is precisely what happened with me, the lesson I learnt can be summed up in a line that goes something like this -

"Unless and until I do not CHANGE for the better, these experiences shall never STOP so it is better to toughen my mind up & transmute such insults into a force for good a.k.a motivation"

I strongly feel that such experience will continue to happen unless you have learnt the lessons that are meant for you. What we need is a change on a very personal level, a change that will put an end to our weaknesses in that specific area. I term this as 'personality evolution' where you evolve and progressively become a stronger version of yourself. I noticed that the moment I start emanating confidence and strength, people who otherwise may just simply insult me to satisfy their own egos, STOP and rethink before doing so. This is not a talisman of any kind but a radical shift of your thought process from:

1. Self-limiting to Self-liberating
2. From weakening to strengthening 
3. From giving too much of momentousness to what people say and think about you to paying more attention to what YOU think about your 'SELF'. 
4. Taking the focus from the external frame of reference and turning it into internal frame of reference 

Feel free to comment below and add to this list or if you have had similar experiences where you were fed up with certain things that bothered you way too much and finally you 'changed for the better' and the issues just ceased forever, do let me know about how the whole story unfolded and what did you learn out of it.

How do you understand a person whom you can not see?

Most people tend to portray a slightly edited version of themselves whenever they are in conversation with someone over an online chat or a talk on the phone or absolutely any platform that fits into this category. Although it all depends upon what one wants as an outcome of that interaction (like impressing the other person so that he or she will start liking you and may look forward to meet you in person or simply a conversation regarding something related to your work where one receives no personal or social advantage). How can one understand the personality or get an overall gist of one's character without actually meeting that person? Here is a list of things that I use as parameters that help me get a quick glimpse of HOW he/she is. All of these have their origin in my personal experiences with people whom I've never seen but have had great deal of conversations over the internet for quite a long period of time.

1. In a casual chat, allow her to choose the topic of the conversation and pay close attention to it. The topic she chooses to discuss most frequently, determines her level of awareness and maturity. 
2. If you have the scope of getting into a discussion with her about anything that is intellectual and pay close attention not just to what her opinions are about it but also to the way she frames her opinions
3. To take the point mentioned above to the next level you can simply take up a hot or slightly controversial topic (for example say, racism) and start playing a temporary villain by putting forward an opinion that should sound as if you are pro-racism and then wait and watch what her reaction is. Be careful not to make too radical statements or else if her personal values are strong, she might just start ignoring you, if you know what I mean.
4. To know how much of an empath she is, just try to share a couple of your serious issues with her and give subtle hints that you are feeling low due to them and see if she helps you out to get rid of your emotional burden and offers you the space where you can share your issues with her at ease
5. If she is a truly a gem of a person, she will turn her kindest side towards you so as to make sure that you end the chat with a smile on your face

As a conclusion, I think the key is to carefully observe not just what they mostly speak about but also the way they put their thoughts across to you. Personally, when someone indulges in pointless and insignificant talks with me on a regular basis, I end up considering that as a strong indicator of that person's immaturity and his/her restricted limits of awareness.

How to make a woman fall in love with you? Or can you?

The best way to approach a woman you love is to be yourself, be true to your core values and love her truly for what she is. If she is wise enough to understand your worth she will inevitably fall in love with 'Who you really are'.

Beyond being YOURSELF there are certain things you can practice to be the best person of her life:

1. Understanding her (with all her complexities) 
2.  Giving her the 'space' where she feels supported & cared 
3. Listening without interrupting and without jumping to conclusions 
4.  If at all you are angry at something that she has done, then you need to express it against that specific action of hers and not against 'herself' as a person, as this will hurt immensely and will give her a strong reason to re-think if she can really "be with you forever" 
5. Whenever she is talking something important, pay 100% undivided attention to her
6. If you have understood her basic psyche you will reach a stage where even if she wears a fake smile, you will immediately know the difference. Whenever that happens, make sure you exhibit your concern and ask her if she is upset over anything and if turns out to be the case then you need to wear you 'Good Listener' cap and allow her to empty her heart out 

How to know if you are an Introvert or an Extrovert?

Introvert vs Extrovert

From early childhood all the way till the age of around 22 I remember being introverted in my outlook and orientation towards people. Avoiding public gatherings, feeling a sense of shyness while introducing myself to people and remaining quiet most of the time specially when I am in a group of people, these and many more such instances had become a norm for me. It was after a series of experiences that in a way turned me fearful of people, I decided to embrace change. I began exploring the social side of life. I am now touching 27 and in the last 4 years I have successfully turned the tables around and I can write this with no doubts that today I am a people's person (no exaggeration intended)
Although the reason behind why I changed is a long story in itself and not relevant to this discussion too. However, in the capacity of my introvert-turned-extrovert experiences I can jot down a few points that may help bring clarity in knowing if you are an introvert or an extrovert.

1. As an introvert (or so to say) I was never sure about saying YES to attending an event where I will be seeing many unknown faces. Whenever someone use to invite me for a party (or any like event) where most of my fellow attendees would be strangers for me, my immediate natural response coming from within would be a sense of awkwardness. Today, when someone calls me to join for a similar gathering I feel neutral most of the time and in some cases I feel excited too
2. This may be an unusual indicator but a couple of years back I use to avoid putting my picture on social media accounts as well as on any messenger apps as opposed to today, where I am quite comfortable with it
3. When I have made a new friend and if at all that person asks me general questions (just to get the conversation started) I use to feel as if he/she is getting personal. This use to make me perceive them with an eye of suspicion. Today, I do not feel that anymore. On the contrary, I would admit that in most conversations, I am the one who takes the initiative of getting the conversation started and I am quite active in asking general questions in order to know more about that individual (I stay away from asking questions that have a possibility of making that person feel uncomfortable in talking to me, that way I am mindful of being under my limits)
4. You meet someone new, you both talk for a few hours and then after a couple of days or may be a week or two you see this person again, would you take the initiative of saying a 'Hey, What's up?' or would you remain passive and expect him/her to greet you?

How can you practice Gratitude in the midst of Suffering?

One of the ways in which I practice the attitude of gratitude is by looking at those who are given lesser than what I have received in terms of health, love, resources and relationships. No matter what we go through, there will always be people out there who are going through 'worst' than our version of 'bad'. The moment I look at those less fortunate and the kind of life they are struggling with, I feel blessed in the midst of my hardships. The only challenge is that when we feel low, we do not really think of these thoughts as we are busy looking at our problems (at times magnifying them) & at the same time we also spend a great deal of time asking ourselves the 'WHY me God? Why me?' questions.

I have noticed that when times are too tough for me to face, it is the feeling of being thankful to God for all His blessings that prevents me from becoming too weak and falling into the pit of hopelessness (the vulnerability of which is very high in times of crisis)

A few quotes on Gratitude that I take a look at on a regular basis:

“When you see a person who has been given more than you in money and beauty, then look to those who have been given less.”
Prophet Muhammad (p.b.u.h)

"If you want to turn your life around, try thankfulness. It will change your life mightily." Gerald Good

"If a fellow isn't thankful for what he's got, he isn't likely to be thankful for what he's going to get." 
Frank A. Clark

"When I started counting my blessings, my whole life turned around." 
Willie Nelson

"In ordinary life, we hardly realize that we receive a great deal more than we give, and that it is only with gratitude that life becomes rich." 
Dietrich Bonhoeffer

How do you Motivate yourself when you have no external sources of Motivation?

I believe that inner motivation is more powerful than any other motivation that comes from an external source like an individual, movie, seminar, book etc.

Motivation that has its source 'within oneself' triumphs over external motivation as it comes from deeper understanding that carries with itself a heavy emotional strength. As an example let us consider that my family and friends suggest me to hit the gym and get in shape. Although I do understand and value the concern they have for me and it does make perfect sense too, but for some reason I do not have an inner drive or that necessary enthusiasm to reduce my weight and tone myself up. One fine day, I take a good look at a picture of myself where I stand beside my 'in-shape' office colleagues. As I look at myself carefully, I begin to realize how unattractive I look with these excess pounds. This is where I link my weight with my 'looks'. Soon after this realization, comes an inner push to do something about it & from the next day onwards I myself hitting the gym and adopting healthy eating habits.

Although, there are a number of ways one can motivate oneself. They all differ person to person as we all have different beliefs and attitudes. Let me jot down a few of them that have worked for me.

1. I do a simple but powerful exercise that involves looking at where I was a few years back (3 to 4 years back) and then compare my life at that time as to what it is today. I then write down at least 10 significant changes that I have experienced so far and also look at the ways they have affected my life (whether positively or negatively). When I realize that NO extraordinary improvement has taken place, I consider that as a wake -up call to take better quality decisions and actions 
2. Doing a quick self-analysis on whether my capabilities have been used to the fullest or have they been largely unused. This gives me clarity on my all the mental and emotional blocks of my life. This helps me understand where I am stuck. Once the root cause is detected, a strong current of self-motivation gets triggered to get rid of that root cause which is not allowing me to live my potential to the fullest. One such example can be the fear of public speaking that hinders many opportunities that I would otherwise grab if I at all had the necessary confidence in that area 
3. Death too can act as a tool for self-motivation, at least it does in my case where I tend to visualize myself on my death-bed and I am full of regrets about my unfulfilled dreams just because I was not motivated enough and always gave excuses. The moment I imagine this picture, within a few minutes I feel the rush of inner-motivation, the feel of which is strong enough for me to be at my peak performance.
4. The last tool I would like to mention is something that I rarely use. It involves comparing yourself with someone else (especially someone who is of your age or younger and who started his/her life from a similar background as yours) This may not work positively all the time as there is a risk of a subtle feeling of jealousy dominating this entire process and making it counterproductive. But on the positive side, it can act as a strong source of inner-motivation as it will make you understand all those areas where you were weak and where this 'other' person was strong. The underlying thought that one should have is -"If they/he/she can do it so can I"

5 tips to make Life more SIMPLE

Uninstalling Whatsapp and instead switching to the primitive ways of communicating i.e. Calls or/& Texts:
This will help you get rid of many insignificant and time consuming chats that people engage in via Whatsapp or other messenger apps. I can say this from my personal experience as I am NO more active on Whatsapp since more than 3 weeks and getting back to simplicity i.e. Calls and Texts has made life productive as it gives me more time to do things that matter to me, thus cutting down completely on the time that I use to spend on aimless chats (which was almost 70% of the time). I am still in touch with my close buddies as well as distant friends via text messages and calls, in fact, we meet more often these days than before.

Getting up early (like 5:30 am) and sleeping before 12 at night.Since last more than 25 days I am getting up around 5:30 am and sleeping at around 11 pm or 12 midnight. How is think making my Life simple? Well, as my family gets up around 8 or at times 9 am I get a good deal of 3 to 4 hours of a complete 'ME' time. How does it affect the quality of my Life? I am a book lover and so the moment all my family members are up, the "necessary silence required to focus"and that "reader friendly" ambience gets thrown out of the window. Although, here I am talking about reading, but it is applicable on any activity that adds value to life and that demands you to be in an environment where no one will disturb you for a few hours daily.

The moment you find yourself in a group of people or an individual talking S*IT about things that 'matter to you' just walk away instead of trying to reform their/his/her thoughts:This might sound like avoiding a potential or perhaps a valid debate. But the simple truth is that you cannot change people's thinking. No matter how much you try. Many times it happens with me that I am at a party or in a meeting with office colleagues or at a cafe with my friends and not always but sometimes they end up talking about things that at best, irritate me or at worst, hurt me. It is better to quickly walk away or just pretend as if you have got a call on your cell phone (this can be done using a fake call app) or use any other similar strategy. When should this behavior be exhibited? Only in those situations where talking to them is like wasting time and energy. However, if you are in conversation with someone who is open-minded and wise enough to listen to you, then you can surely invest your time and energy in clearing any misunderstanding that he or she may be having about the subject being discussed. Why is this important? I have noticed that we tend to spend lots of time & effort in being defensive about our beliefs and actions especially when we notice that we are being ridiculed/criticised. Understanding that our values and life's choices are highly independent of what others think and that we alone will be living its consequences, will liberate us from wasting our time and energies in being defensive about them and rather preserving the same energy and time to be used creatively for higher purposes.

Being NON-JUDGEMENTAL:Being extra-judgemental is one of the most easiest ways of over-burdening your mind with lots of unnecessary baggage. Being too judgemental can result in "our body and mind bearing the brunt of that negativity" writes Dr. Cynthia Thaik in this article on Huffington Post

Use KaizenKaizen is a Japanese business philosophy that revolves around continuous improvement of working practices, personal efficiency etc. Our brain tends to consider 'BIG changes' as a threat and so it tries avoiding it by creating reasons and excuses, this habit of ours can be tricked when we break down that 'Change' into 'tiny changes' executed everyday consistently. I think that Kaizen is one of the best tools that adds simplicity to life by breaking down a BIG activity or BIG change into small bits and acting upon every 'bit' daily. Example - Reading 20 pages of a 400 pages book twice a day (Once after getting early in the morning as discussed earlier in this answer and once before going to bed) will allow me to complete that big fat book in 10 days.

Do you have some more tips to share? just type in the Comment section below.

How I took control of my emotional attachment?

I have been in this situation multiple times where I meet a woman of my age or slightly elder to me, I hang out with her a couple of times and indulge in some quality conversations that makes me instantly connect with her. What makes me instantly connect is the fact that many of them exhibit those specific qualities that I value the most. After a few weeks, I feel like I need to talk and meet regularly. More than two days If I do not meet that person, something just doesn't feel right. In almost every experience I realized that the person who lost the most, in terms of valuable time and mental and emotional energy and also the one who went through the most emotional pain was myself. The blame for this lies solely on me.

After going through such experiences repeatedly and paying the price too, I decided to do a detailed self analysis on myself and realized a few things that can be summed up as follows -

1. There was in me an intense need to be in a companionship especially with someone who can make me feel accepted and in whose company I can find happiness, this was so subtle that I too was not aware of its power to make me emotionally weak. This feeling was responsible for creating that urge to connect with like-minded individuals and specially women (because I think that the kind of love and support we receive from our best friends or special companions from the opposite gender is quite different than that we experience in the company of people of our own gender). When I think of why I had this strong feeling at the first place the only answer I find is in my upbringing where I was in an environment that made me an introvert for quite a long time in my life. Being lonely for most of the time was like a norm for me. Not interacting with people and being quite homely despite of being a boy which is quite a rare scenario, just complicated the whole problem even more.
2. In a very weird way I use to feel that this person with whom I am attached may not be there with me tomorrow. This scary feeling just intensified my attachment
3. The most simplest problem with me was that my mind went back and forth between two extremes: first one was where my emotions dominated my reason & the second was when my reason dominated my emotions, it is today I realize that the solution lies when reason and emotions are perfectly balanced
4. The moment I meet someone and that person happens to be like the one who gives me the space that I longed for, I get attached with her quickly, this is mainly because I have a fear that once I lose this person I will never again get someone like this in the future. This is quite a deep thought, if you reflect on it.

Now let me jot down a few things I did that improved my life.

Can you judge someone's personality on the way they TALK?

Communication is the best and the most quickest tool to know a person within a short period of time.

I use the following as my parameters:

1. I pay close attention to what topics they randomly choose to talk about. If they talk more about things that are less significant like the a drama on primetime TV or that break up of a friend in the next class, then it is the first indicator of his lack of maturity. I would rather prefer someone with whom I can have value conversations at least 60% of the time if not all the time.

2. The language used should be clean, if way too many Fs are used (like once in every 20 seconds) then it is again a signal for me to start looking at the nearest exit and to avoid running into him or her again.

3. If I am talking about something important about myself or my life, then I would expect them to listen to me uninterruptedly. Interrupting in between to talk something that is unimportant at that moment gives me a big reason to shut such people off my life. Basic empathy is an essential ingredient in any relationship.

4. Talking too loudly (specially in a public place), is another indicator of that person being unconcerned about social mannerisms which is a reason enough for me to judge him/her about the personality he/she has built so far.

5. Talking while using mobile phone way too much is a big NO. This makes the person appear more interested in talking to someone across the network via Whatsapp or any other social media/messenger app than the one sitting right in front of them.

Although the list is long. But for now these are the essentials of how one can be judged or known at a basic level, by carefully observing the way they talk.